5 Reasons To Consider Scheduling Sex In Your Marriage



by Trey & Lea | May 30th, 2018

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We are schedule people. We schedule important things like doctor’s appointments, workouts at the gym and activities for your kids. So why not schedule sex into your calendar? Some may say when it comes to scheduling sex, “Sex should be spontaneous,” or “Scheduling intimacy will take the romance out of it.” But the truth is, scheduling sex between you and your spouse may be one of the most brilliant decision you can make for your relationship. Here are 4 good reasons to consider scheduling sex into your calendar …

1. IF IT ISN’T SCHEDULED, IT MAY NOT HAPPEN: The reason we use a calendars is to carve out time for the things that matter. Sex in your marriage relationship matters very much, so marking a time for it among the other important parts of your life is not only wise, but it will go a long way toward ensuring that the intimacy actually happens.

2. IT GETS YOU IN THE MOOD: When lovemaking is scheduled and kept on the front-burner, it builds anticipation, and both husband and wife begin to prepare physically, emotionally and mentally for it.

3. HONESTLY, ADMIT IT, IT STRENGTHENS YOUR RELATIONSHIP: Sex isn’t what defines the marriage, but it’s an extremely important part of it. Sex will not fix a bad marriage, but no sex will probably damage a good one. Don’t underestimate the importance of a healthy sex life in your marriage.

4. IT ELIMINATES “THE ASK”: In most marriages, one partner possesses a higher desire than the other and requests sex more often, while his or her partner rarely asks for physical intimacy. For the spouse with a higher desire, the fear of rejection often sets in. One becomes weary of having to ask, or even beg, for sex on a regular basis. When a couple can agree upon a basic schedule for sex in marriage, it takes the guesswork out. While this still leaves room for occasional spontaneity, it reassures the higher-sex-drive mate that it will happen, and not only that—they know when! Usually the schedule is less often than the partner with a higher desire would want and more frequent than the partner with a lesser desire may want. Instead, it’s meeting on middle ground.

5. IT PROVIDES AN INCENTIVE TO GET THE KIDS TO BED EARLY. Bedtime can be a bit of a war zone when you have little ones. If you have multiple little ones, getting them all down at night can be much like a game of wack-a-mole, once you get one down, the other pops up. BUT you’re willing power through just to have some one-on-one time and intimacy together. It’s worth it.

  • Setting out candles to light in the bedroom
  • Leaving a little note saying your looking forward to your time together
  • Leaving a flower or favorite piece of candy for your spouse to find
  • Texting throughout the day
  • Putting on something lacy, sheer or soft
  • Putting the kids down early
  • Giving a real kiss or long hug before leaving for work
  • Etc


  • Scheduling sex doesn’t take the romance out of it, it just makes it a priority in your marriage. God created sex for pleasure, enjoy it.

    So definitely schedule sex in your marriage … or at least don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

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